First time obedience.

Well, before I get started on the main topic of the post - I got my doctor's results back today and everything came back normal! She checked my thyroid and my cholesterol, along with a few others and all of that was normal. The cervical cancer (pap smear) results, and all of that came back normal as well! I'm supposed to start my Loestrin 24 during my next cycle, to see if it helps with my cysts. You have NO idea how excited I am about this news! I could cry. I've been so torn up for the last several months about the possibility of something really being wrong with me (health-wise) and to hear that God is faithful, and that I am healthy, just makes me feel absolutely amazing! It's really, really, made it possible for me to enjoy life more!

On that topic, I've really been struggling lately with being consistent with disciplining the kids, and because of that, they have been pushing boundaries like no other. It's been a really rough few weeks around here with them always fighting, arguing, not doing what I ask, taking forever to finish a task, etc. So, yesterday I started a new mode of discipline in this house from an old long lost friend, Dacia. It's called First Time Obedience. In essence, you are teaching your kids to be extremely prompt about doing what they are asked to do, the FIRST time. Not talking back, not waiting, not ignoring you, etc. So, I will tell them one time, "Nathanael, please ____." If he chooses not to do it, he gets a warning, "Nathanael, please ____, or you are going to have to get a spanking." If he STILL chooses not to do it, he gets a pop on the rear, and is sent to his bed until he is done crying. Then, he comes out, we talk about it, hug, and go on about our business. I did this all day yesterday (Nate got 3 spankings, Brayden got 1, and Isaac got 1), and lastnight at bed time was AMAZING! Bed time took 15 minutes, instead of an hour - all because they did everything I asked them to do, the FIRST time! There was no crying, getting up and down, wanting to play, etc. They cleaned up their room, brushed their teeth, and went to bed, all in 15 minutes! And they were asleep in about 10 minutes! It was glorious! Today, they have been so well behaved, NO ONE has gotten a spanking, and I don't know what to do with myself. Since they are listening, I've been able to be MUCH more calm, which has kept them calm, which has made for a MUCH more pleasant household! I can really, really feel God in here with us today, and he's really lifted me up in this time where I feel so much frustration. So, thank you Jesus!

Thank you for positive test results, thank you for this amazing family, thank you for a husband that works so hard, thank you for letting yourself be known to my children, thank you for loving us, and thank you for being you!

I'm so happy today!

Today has been an amazing day!

I had my doctor's appointment this morning (OBGYN), and it's the first appointment I've had in 3 years. Needless to say, I was EXTREMELY nervous to go. I'm a little nervous about the results, but this was a big step, and I am SO excited to have it over with! I'm having faith in God that the test results are going to be exactly what I need to help me get over this horrible feeling that something is wrong with me.

I went and donated $110 worth (22 jugs) of formula to the Agape Pregnancy Resource Center this afternoon, and it felt AMAZING! I was going to wait until next week, but why wait when there is a baby that could use my help right NOW?

Hubby has an appointment tomorrow morning to get a root canal. He's looking forward to it because his teeth have been bothering him pretty badly, so I'm ready to get it over with so he can start feeling better!

Will update on my test results in a few days when I get them!

Happy Easter!

We went to mom's Easter play tonight at her church, and I really liked it. It was a little too deep for the boys, but I think that it was just what I needed. The pastor, at the end, talked about how the "fear of death" died on the cross, if we'd just let it... this spoke volumes to me!

Those of you that don't know me on an extremely personal level, don't know that I suffer immensely from hypochondria. I'm pretty sure it stems from some pretty traumatic things that have happened in my past, but either way, it's here, and it's VERY real in my life. I think about death, every single day of my life, and I am terrified of it. I'm terrified of leaving my boys. Because of this, I also have a fear of going out into public, because I am afraid that something bad is going to happen, and that my kids are going to see it. I won't go into too much detail, but my list of problems are: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Hypochondria, Anxiety and panic disorder, Agoraphobia, and Social Anxiety Disorder. Basically, every minute of every day, something is scaring the crap out of me. It's very scary to deal with, and I feel like I have virtually NO quality of life. If it weren't for my kids, I don't know that I'd even have a life at all.

When the pastor said this tonight - it really hit me - I am dying EVERY day. I am missing my kids EVERY day. I am missing out on the regular joys of life, because of my fears! So the thing that I am most afraid of (death), has already taken my life, because I am NOT living! Why waste my time being so afraid of something that I have absolutely NO control over? Why put my kids through that? Why make them feel like they are so much less significant because of my own struggles?

This Easter, 2011, is going to be a memorable one. Jesus died for our sins, and rose again, and this began a new life. He rose again, so that we may have abundant life, a life worth living - and I am not taking full advantage of that abundant life like I should be. I'm not using it to better myself, and to show Jesus to people like I should be. Well, my sweet Jesus, this year, I'm rising with you. My life is going to be like nothing it has ever been before. I'm loving harder, laughing more, and living like I'm not promised tomorrow... because I'm not... and I'm not afraid anymore. Because when the day DOES come, and He does decide that it's my time to go... I'm going to be with the most unselfish, caring, loving, beautiful person who has ever lived... and He will take care of my children for me until I get to see them again. That, my dear friends, is worth being happy about.

I've joined the blogging world!

At this moment, Brayden is 9.5 years old, ready to start football, and going back to school this Fall after being homeschooled for two years. Nathanael just turned 4, and is full of life, attitude, and spunk! He's definitely the most opinionated and independent of them all. Isaac just turned 3, and is the most loving little boy. He loves on mommy, daddy, and his brothers all the time. He is slowly growing out of this cuddle stage, and I'm glad that it lasted as long as it did, but man... I hate to see it go. =(

I will also be posting coupon deals on here as well. So check back daily (I will be updating daily, maybe every other day) for match-ups on things that you may need, and where to get them!

Thanks for keeping up with this insanity I call life!